Lessons from "The Holiday"

"The Holiday" is one of my most favourite Christmas movies. It's a recent favourite, having only seen it for the first time a few years ago, but on the first viewing it became a firm favourite. For me there is something just so real about the characters. And their situations - that desperate need to just run away from reality when everything goes to hell. 

As well as being brilliantly entertaining (Cameron Diaz singing out of tune to "The Killers" is one small example!) I think there are some major lessons we can learn from it - and quotes that we need to keep reminding ourselves of. 

The first is one of the more sad ones. It's this speech by Kate Winslet's character Iris that I think perfectly encapsulates the long and slow process of trying to get over someone...

What I'm trying to say is...

...I understand feeling as small and as insignificant...

...as humanly possible.

How it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you.

It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get...

...or gyms you join...

...or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with girlfriends.

You still go to bed every night going over every detail...

...and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.

And how in the hell, for that brief moment...

...you could think that you were that happy?

And sometimes you can even convince yourself...

...that he'll see the light and show up at your door.

And after all that...

...however long "all that" may be...

...you'll go somewhere new.

And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again.

And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.

And all that fuzzy stuff...

...those years of your life that you wasted...

...that will eventually begin to fade.

How many of us have felt like that? I know for damn certain I have. (When I watched this movie last year, this scene had me in floods of tears - it was all just a tad too close to home) 

But it basically sums up the rule of all break ups - only time will heal it. Time and those people that remind you that you ARE worthwhile. 

The second one is an almost throw away line - but it has always stuck with me.

"You're supposed to be the
Leading Lady of your own life
for God's sake!"

Ladies if you listen to only one thing I ever say - listen to this please. You ARE the Leading Lady in your own life. You deserve the job, the friends, the man - whatever makes you happy, you can get it and you deserve it. Your happy ending and "ever after" - whatever that may mean to you - is waiting for you. And don't ever mistake yourself for the 'best friend' role and sort of disappear for half the screenplay. Be centre stage, and be the star for the entire movie. 

And finally I'd like to leave you with just one word. The best word ever heard in a movie EVER. And that word is:

Gumption!

I don't think I even need to explain it. It sounds like what it is. And whether you are the loud, scream about it type, or the quiet thinking type - always remember to have an air of Gumption about you. Be confident, be brave - be unforgettable. 

Game of Thrones guys

Warning, this post does contain spoilers (from the TV series having not read past book 1 yet). If you are planning on reading or watching this series or are only part way through please please please do not read ahead! This way be spoilers! 

You have been warned....this is a series you really don't want to have spoilers for. 

Whilst reading through the Game of Thrones Facebook page, I came across this article "GoT guys and whether you should marry them" this cracked me up and thought I needed to post my two-peneth worth on some of the hotties in this season!

And ladies be warned - there are a fair few of them! 

So in reverse order here are MY fav Thones guys, and why I would choose them. 

 Robb Stark

Gorgeous. In a slightly ruggedy way compared to his half brother Jon. But this is a man with a quiet confidence, who knows what he wants and how to get it. Especially when it comes to the girl he loves. 

Plus *that* scene of passion? Yum! 

Khal Drogo

*fans self* Woo! Now here's a man for if you ever needed a steaming hot pile of testosterone! He has that classic bad boy thing going on and although the abuse of women complex he has to start off with is not his best selling point, he becomes such a romantic loving thing when he meets the right girl. A classic case of "But I can change him!" And how cute are the nicknames "Moon of my life" and "My sun and stars"? 

Jon Snow

The eyes....oh the eyes...he has a bit of a Heath Ledger in "10 Things I hate about you" vibe about him. Despite his hard exterior you can see he has a softer side. He's not had the easiest youth and tries to put a brave face on things. Really you just want to look after him although like Ygtitte I think I'd need to put him in his place quite often and show him who's really in charge! I also love his sense of humour (that shows more in the books though) AND he has an adorable Direwolf. 

Tyrion Lannister

WHAT?! I hear women of the world cry. He's your FIRST choice? Over and above all the gorgeous strapping men you listed?! (And the ones you didnt. Hello Sean Bean anyone?) And yes I know it seems an odd choice but Tyrion has the strongest strength of character. This is a man who knows himself, his an intelligent man and although not a fighter; brave enough of fight when he needs to. Not to mention he is so god damn FUNNY! 

All of these things, along with his intense vulnerability that only those he truly trusts will ever see make him a pretty awesome guy if you ask me. On top of that he also has such a huge amount of love he wants to give to the right girl. When he finds someone that truly cares about him, he will love and cherish her above all else - even when he doesn't truly believe he deserves it. (End of season 2? I wept. Wept and sobbed for him with happiness!) 

Not to mention, that although described as fairly "ugly" in the books Peter Dinklage is pretty easy on the eye if you ask me! 

Bonus Jon Snow picture. Just for funsies!

The Hunger Games

Straight off the back, if you have not read The Hunger Games trilogy, or if you are going to read them and do not want them spoiled, then DO NOT read this blogpost! Owl and Panda absolutely ADORE the books, and will be unable to contain themselves throughout this post!

Read them IMMEDIATELY- get them on Amazon HERE

We want to talk about Peeta. And Gale. And Katniss. Oh Gale and Peeta. They love Katniss so much.

One thing that struck us was how much we felt we could relate to Katniss' feelings towards both of them. Both representing safety, security, and undying love, Gale through rebellion and passion, Peeta through kind support and ultimate acceptance. But who would you have chosen in the end? Certainly Katniss barely had time to concentrate on her feelings for either in too much depth, what with her trying to protect her sister, stay alive and eventually leading a rebellion and all. But in key moments throughout the series, we see Katniss' confusion over her feelings for both men. She could identify that she loved them both dearly. But, in the very end, who did she really want to be with?

Panda was gripped the entire time, not quite knowing for sure who Katniss would choose (if any). Surely she would choose Gale, she's known him for so long and has so many shared experiences with him. And with Peeta's psychological change in the third book (we mentioned spoilers, right? Oh yeah, good) it was unclear whether he could ever love her the way he once did. Owl was more perceptive, and saw it coming. Peeta represented a type of safety in a way that Katniss could not give herself. Yes, Gale could hunt, and fight, and be as firery as her, but what Katniss needed in the end was the man who could complete her, to compliment her and give her the security that she so desperately craved. 

And is this not what we want from our own partners in life? The guy that completes us? Yes, we want someone to share our likes and interests. But don't we also want the guy who can give us what we cannot give ourselves?

In the Panda family, the women are loud and chatty (and then loud and chatty some more). Daddy Panda, on the other hand, is the quiet, retiring type. He only talks when it is necessary (sometimes not even then). Perhaps that's what Mummy Panda needed in a mate- someone who will be the calm one, the listener, the think-then-act person, to compliment her sprightly and spontaneous nature.

In life, we are often attracted to those who bring out a different side of us, that challenge us in some way or another. It's natural, it's what helps us to grow and develop. If we were always around people who were exactly the same as us all of the time, how would that benefit us? Is it not instinctive to consciously or subconsciously look for things in a partner that we do not have ourselves, to compliment our better half and complete that other side?

Yes, Owl, the romantic, saw this plot end coming. Peeta was perfect for Katniss. Ultimately Owl pondered, we don't want a mirror image of ourselves. We want someone whose strengths balance our own - to make us stronger as a couple, and surely only Peeta would be the one she could choose? He soothed her character. She didn't clash with him in the same way she clashed with Gale, because she and Gale were too much alike. Maybe it's a lesson for us all not to get too hung up on finding a partner who is just like us, but to accept what our mate has to bring to the table, and to complement each other, making us both stronger for it.