On meeting the parents

Ahh meeting the family - a terrifying situation for even the bravest of us! The worries and questions that go through our minds, all boiling down to one question "Will I make a good impression - will they like me?"

Because ultimately thats what we all want isnt it? We really like someone, we see it having potential to go somewhere, and there is nothing worse than the potential future "one day" in-laws not liking you and making a relationship difficult.

I've been in both camps. One boyfriend's mother welcomed me in with wide warm arms (literally) and then cried when I saw them for the last time when I picked up my stuff. By contrast one boyfriends mother would barely allow me through the front door, let alone upstairs.

The last one - the very nearly "mother in law" I never quite figured out 100% I worked hard to make a good impression and show her how much I cared for my then partner. She always said what she thought, so even though sometimes she was brutally honest, when she said she cared about me and loved me I believed her. I think it was actually quite difficult for her when it ended....it was for me too. I missed her. 

So having been through a number of relationships with varying degrees of closeness to the mothers, I was really nervous this time. I "quite" like ELB and I really didn't want to mess it up early on by not making a good impression. I worried for the best part of a week over my outfit, went to three different shops on the way to buy a bottle of fizz as recommended by ELB and then stressed out when my well planned hair-do got messed up through *cough cough* "extra curricular activities" before I'd even met them.

I needn't have worried. The answer is simple - just be yourself. How many people have heard their partners tell them this "Just be yourself and they'll love you as much as I do". Your partner likes you for a reason, hopefully a number of reasons, and chances are his family is fairly similar to him and so should like you too. Lets be brutally honest here - if he really thought you wern't going to get on, he wouldn't be bringing you home.

Even so here are my top tips for making it go as smoothly as possible:

• Dress modestly, but still be YOU. I went for a sweater dress that is maybe a *tad* shorter than generally acceptable for meeting parents but I had inch thick tights and practical knee high boots that made the outfit very "me" but still respectable. Also make sure its seasonally appropriate  That floaty maxi dress might be appropriate but you will just look silly wearing that in November! 
• Bring a gift if appropriate  Even something small will make a good impression. I was meeting them all on brothers birthday so I brought a bottle of fizz. That ELB then embarrassed me about  as he kept mentioning it every 10 minutes. Bless him :)
• Watch your language. I have an awful habit of swearing like a sailor no matter the company I keep so I consciously thought about everything before I said it. I'm sure over time the less offensive words in correct context wouldn't be so bad if its part of you, but on the first meeting you want to appear as ladylike as possible!
• Talk about subjects you care about - if you enjoy your job, tell them why. Loving a TV show or book at the moment - ask if they've seen or read it. Be engaging, ask questions about them. Remember the idea here is to get to know each other better. 
• Let them see you care about their son. A hand hold, sneaky peck on the cheek, smiling at him and complimenting him all show how much you care about him. HOWEVER - gushy smushy OTT PDA's and you will gross out the family - so be classy about it. 
• If they subject you to a "lie detector test" it's probably time to leave....

Do you have any "Meet the Parents" success tales? What about any horror stories? Tweet to @GrabaSpoon

First date outfit nightmares!

Ohh it’s a tricky old battlefield! Of course a lot of it depends on where you’re going, the season etc, but on the whole what do you go for?

Personally I love autumn (and judging by numerous blog posts and Pinterest I am not alone in this) it gives you the great opportunity to be just cosy enough to not worry about exposing too much, sweating, getting cold in that floaty dress somewhere with the aircon wacked up etc etc but not so bundled up its hard to tell if you are a woman or some lovechild of the Michelin man and pillsbury dough boy under all those layers!

I am still really loving the leggings/shorts look – ESPECIALLY when teamed with my oh-so cute, but not so girly brown knee highs. Am I a bit behind the fashion times here? Are leggings still in? Ech I don’t care – I’ve never been a fashion follower. But Panda thinks these are too casual for a first date.

So second option – a fail-safe of black fitted jeans. Ah the safety of a classic piece! But…then heels are needed. And given the season I am veering towards my skyscraper heel shoe-boots. All very well in theory until you consider the cobbles of the Southbank.

Not to mention that inherently I am a practical gal. We have already established this date will probably contain a fair amount of mooching along the river sampling various ale-houses (hehe, never said that before – never plan to again!) and whilst I am very comfy in my heels, I will be crippled after a few hours of walking on cobbles and I HATE being that girl that wears heels and then moans.

On a first date a few months ago I wore new heels that gave me a blister the size of a small egg that I literally couldn’t walk on the next day. Although I didn’t moan one little bit – that is not an experience I am keen to repeat!

As for the top? I have a brand new floaty top (with owls on it…I kid you not) which I think teemed with tight jeans will work well.  I plan never EVER to repeat my teenage mistakes of flaunting everything. It’s not a good look. Boobs, legs or bum. Pick one and accentuate it, but be modest elsewhere is my motto.

I don’t think I can get away with that cosy hoodie though so the coat situation needs some thinking. And I havn’t even thought about hair and makeup. Let alone the fact that I may also be concealing a hangover and late night out due to a certain Panda’s birthday the night before…

Am I the only one that stresses this much about what to wear on a first date? To me they are the most important looks-wise. You only ever make one first impression. (Oh did I not mention this was a guy I met online?) Second, third dates etc I stop worrying so much but first dates its all about getting that perfect balance of feminity, sexiness, but “oh this thrown together look?” whilst still being comfy.

Comfort is a big thing for me and it takes a lot to make me sacrifice it! Heck I’d live in a hoodie if I thought I could get aaway with it like that kid and his parka from East is East!

Ugh men have it so easy! Shirt, jeans = done. Please, someone tell me that men stress before getting ready for a date. It would make me feel so much better!

Tweet to @GrabaSpoon Tell us what you wear on a first date.