Single at Christmas

Christmas is one of those times of the year that seems made for couples. As soon as the temperature drops it seems couples start streaming out of the woodwork. Couples ice skating, couples sharing hot chocolate, couples holding hands in those sickening two handed mitten things. Blurgh...it's enough to want to make us singletons disappear under our duvets with a chocolate orange and not emerge until Spring.

But. There are many reasons why being independent and by yourself this festive season rocks! And if you don't believe us, have a look at our reasonings:

1. "Where are we going for Christmas?"
Have you ever had that awful conversation with a spouse? "Where are we spending Christmas this year?" The arguments that follow, the trade offs "Well if we spend Christmas Eve at your Mums, then Christmas Day at mine, then Boxing Day at your Grans" - then all the driving or overpriced cabs or haggling for lifts to get between all of those places. Wouldn't you rather spend three days at Mum's relaxing, getting pissed and not having to venture into the cold?

2. Think of the money you save
Owl's friend text her in excitement about the £500 gift she had just laid out on her other half. £500 is a lot to spend on one person by anyone's standards, and this friend has a big family with a lot of kids in it on a fairly modest income. That's crazy! Not to mention the stress that comes with finding that "perfect" gift. Want our advice? That's money that can be used to take yourself on a shopping spree in the January sales!

3. Eating guilt free 
Ok, so this one is kind of a given at Christmas anyway. It's Christmas after all. And we are in no way advocating unhealthy behaviour. However isn't it nicer to eat all those yummy goodies, choccies and alki-hol without worrying about being judged by your other half. Especially if you don't make it to the gym until the second week of January instead of the first.

4. Total control of the remote
DVD boxsets, BBC Specials, traditional movies, sometimes you just wanna watch what you want to watch. (Love Actually at least 3 times this month we think) And no, we don't care how awesome Die Hard is.....it's not a Christmas movie!

5. All the dating opportunities 
Christmas parties, work do's, more time out and about catching up with friends, not to mention New Years Eve! There are so many great opportunities to meet new people and arrange some fun dates to get you through January.


6. No sharingIn what should be a totally selfless time of year, you don't have to fight over the last green triangle....or give up your turn on the new Xbox game....or give your 3 year old niece her teddy bear back. Ok, we went too far. Maybe you should return the bear.

7. More time to see friends
Christmas seems to be the time everyone suddenly wants to catch up. As if the world will end on December 27th (This year its the 21st though - just a heads up) Being able to just go "Yup I'm free that day for more mulled wine" rather than checking in with the other half is extremely liberating.

8. Great excuse to volunteer
We all say it every year "I'm going to spend time helping a charity!" but lets be honest....how many of us have ever done that? If you find yourself single, but don't relish the thought of going home - do one of the best things you can ever do and be completely selfless over the holiday season. (Especially after eating all the green triangles)

Contact your local hostel, pet shelter, homeless centre, old folks home or hospice - they might all appreciate an extra pair of hands to cook, clean or entertain over the festive season. And if you're in London Crisis at Christmas are still looking for volunteers.

What about you? Do you have any other reasons to add as to why it's better to be blissfully single this time of year? Leave us a comment or send us a Tweet! Tweet to @GrabaSpoon

On meeting the parents

Ahh meeting the family - a terrifying situation for even the bravest of us! The worries and questions that go through our minds, all boiling down to one question "Will I make a good impression - will they like me?"

Because ultimately thats what we all want isnt it? We really like someone, we see it having potential to go somewhere, and there is nothing worse than the potential future "one day" in-laws not liking you and making a relationship difficult.

I've been in both camps. One boyfriend's mother welcomed me in with wide warm arms (literally) and then cried when I saw them for the last time when I picked up my stuff. By contrast one boyfriends mother would barely allow me through the front door, let alone upstairs.

The last one - the very nearly "mother in law" I never quite figured out 100% I worked hard to make a good impression and show her how much I cared for my then partner. She always said what she thought, so even though sometimes she was brutally honest, when she said she cared about me and loved me I believed her. I think it was actually quite difficult for her when it ended....it was for me too. I missed her. 

So having been through a number of relationships with varying degrees of closeness to the mothers, I was really nervous this time. I "quite" like ELB and I really didn't want to mess it up early on by not making a good impression. I worried for the best part of a week over my outfit, went to three different shops on the way to buy a bottle of fizz as recommended by ELB and then stressed out when my well planned hair-do got messed up through *cough cough* "extra curricular activities" before I'd even met them.

I needn't have worried. The answer is simple - just be yourself. How many people have heard their partners tell them this "Just be yourself and they'll love you as much as I do". Your partner likes you for a reason, hopefully a number of reasons, and chances are his family is fairly similar to him and so should like you too. Lets be brutally honest here - if he really thought you wern't going to get on, he wouldn't be bringing you home.

Even so here are my top tips for making it go as smoothly as possible:

• Dress modestly, but still be YOU. I went for a sweater dress that is maybe a *tad* shorter than generally acceptable for meeting parents but I had inch thick tights and practical knee high boots that made the outfit very "me" but still respectable. Also make sure its seasonally appropriate  That floaty maxi dress might be appropriate but you will just look silly wearing that in November! 
• Bring a gift if appropriate  Even something small will make a good impression. I was meeting them all on brothers birthday so I brought a bottle of fizz. That ELB then embarrassed me about  as he kept mentioning it every 10 minutes. Bless him :)
• Watch your language. I have an awful habit of swearing like a sailor no matter the company I keep so I consciously thought about everything before I said it. I'm sure over time the less offensive words in correct context wouldn't be so bad if its part of you, but on the first meeting you want to appear as ladylike as possible!
• Talk about subjects you care about - if you enjoy your job, tell them why. Loving a TV show or book at the moment - ask if they've seen or read it. Be engaging, ask questions about them. Remember the idea here is to get to know each other better. 
• Let them see you care about their son. A hand hold, sneaky peck on the cheek, smiling at him and complimenting him all show how much you care about him. HOWEVER - gushy smushy OTT PDA's and you will gross out the family - so be classy about it. 
• If they subject you to a "lie detector test" it's probably time to leave....

Do you have any "Meet the Parents" success tales? What about any horror stories? Tweet to @GrabaSpoon