Saturday, 3 November 2012

"Being alone SUCKS!" How I get back to positive

If you're anything like me, you've suffered from the mild depression that comes from being single. Like Rachel in Friends said so elegantly: "This SUCKS! Being alone SUCKS!"

This, of course isn't always true, sometimes being single is great! There's no one to be responsible for... um... errr... well, I'm sure there are other reasons (ask me again when I'm not in a "being single SUCKS" mood). When that "I'm alone" feeling sinks in deep, it's hard to feel positive about it.

Especially when your friends all seem to be happily married, in a relationship or dating. I love all my friends, and I am genuinely happy for every single one of them. But I'm sure you guys know what I mean when I say "why can't it be me!"

I've felt this way before. I flit in and out of it from time to time, sometimes its triggered by hormones (you ladies know what I mean), sometimes it's the cold weather. Other times I have no idea what it is. All I know for sure is, it is reversible. I have come up with a few ways to get myself out of the slump. Let me know what you think about them!

Work it out. I find exercising actually does increase my ability to feel happy. I burn some nervous energy, I feel healthier for it (and it eats up some of my alone time!) If you're joined to a nice gym, there are also sexy men to sneakily ogle at (don't lie to yourself, we all do it!)

Eating my favourite meal. This may appear to fly in the face of the previous point, but for me, the previous point is less about losing or maintaining weight, its more about feeling exercised and refreshed. Eating my favourite meal always makes me feel satisfied. I am not advocating binge eating. This isn't helpful (and would definitely negate the previous point!) This could be something off a Chinese menu, or some good old chip shop chips. Or a slice of carrot cake with a hot chocolate. Whatever floats the boat.

Happy Film
I throw on a Happy Film. I have a couple on my list, including Iron Man and The Hangover 2. Don't ask why they are my happy films, I don't quite understand it myself, but I always get a giddy feeling when I watch them. It puts me in a much better mood.

I should note here that although Love Actually is another one of my Happy Films, I wouldn't advocate any lovey-dovey movies whilst in the "alone SUCKS" mode. I've done it before- tears and wet tissues everywhere, and there was no turning back at the end- I was firmly in the "Being alone SUCKS" zone.

Guilty Pleasures
This is a guilty pleasure. And it does make me feel a little bad to admit it. But, although I am single, there are a couple of guys that have a small thing for me. They are cool guys, and I have made it perfectly clear to them that they are JUST friends. But sometimes, I just want a little male company. So, I may call one up, have a quick chat. It can be nice to speak to someone who fancies me, nevertheless, I never lead them on.
This can sometimes backfire, if they are busy and can't talk, or they have girlfriends or whatever. So I never leave this as a last resort, it has a weird way of knocking down my house of cards.

Get pretty and dance
This is my secret, so don't laugh. I'll sit down, give myself a mani-pedi, then wash, scrub, mask, cleanse, tone, moisturise my face off, straighten my hair and walk around the house in my cute PJs. I look pretty. For me. Then, I throw on my favourite dance track and go wild! I just focus on the music. No sad songs- just upbeat ones!

So important. I get out. Immediately. Yes, a small amount of wallowing is normal. But when your reaction to natural light is to hiss and squint like a deranged cat, it's time to be outside. I go for a walk around a nice area, or sit for a coffee in a nice coffee shop. Sometimes I get on a bus and look at the sights. Whatever gets me out and about. I know for me, being inside for a long time means extended periods in my own head. And in this type of mood, that's not safe.

These exercises usually get me through a weekend, or however long it is until I have to be somewhere or do something that takes my mind off my woes. Then, I'm back to my jolly, positive-thinking self. Being single isn't all that bad. There are some good points (again, when I have done the above I'll be in a better place to list what they are).

What would be on your list? Let me know so I can add it to mine!

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