Saturday, 8 September 2012

What are you looking for?

So, there comes a time, whether its during messaging on an internet site, on a first date, or over the phone, when a seemingly simple question is asked...

"What are you looking for in a man?"

How do YOU answer such a question? When we were younger, the obvious answer was to describe the person opposite you "well I'm looking for a tall, dark and handsome man, short and spiky hair with a beauty spot under his left cheek..." (of course this was providing you actually liked the person you were looking at ;) Are a bit old for that old ploy now?

I was asked this recently, and I wasn't sure how to reply. Thank the universe for the expected pause between messages! I eventually replied "I'm looking for someone who is honest, has a high integrity, treats me with respect, is happy in his work, is loyal and is faithful." Er, who isn't looking for this wondrous being? The fact is, aren't we all looking for that in a person? The real question is, what specific qualities am I looking for?

Basically, my ideal guy is made up of all the good parts of the men I have dated in the past, minus all the crappy annoying baggage they came with. Call me the ever pessimist, but I think that if I was to describe my perfect man, no one could ever live up to that expectation (and I would end up scaring every guy off!) I mean, I have a specific height, shape and skin-tone, I know what I would like his hair to look like, his favourite movies to be, his choice of career, his choice of football team, his favourite order on a Chinese takeaway list... It's a ridiculous list of perfection, and knowing my luck, that guy would walk into my life and probably not go for me anyway. I'm more realistic than that. And I think I wouldn't mind being with someone who didn't have all of these qualities wrapped up in a neat package...

Is it ever a good idea to just say "I don't know"? to this question? Does this set an unrealistic tone? Does this mean "I'll settle for whatever you give me"? And what if the person opposite you does not meet your idea of "what you are looking for"? Do you just down your drink in one and bid them farewell?

I guess my overall question is this: how do YOU answer this question? Examples would help, or just your general ideas. I want to be able to answer this question better in the future.

 Thoughts please!

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