Monday, 12 November 2012

The girls as friend’s scenario

I’ve always found myself to be pretty chill about boyfriends having girls as friends. I think even from my early teen years I saw girls freaking out with jealousy over their guys having friends of the opposite sex and I always thought it was so pointless. If they wanted to be with them....they would be! The guy is with you for a reason...dumbass.

And yes you can often enter into the slightly murkier territories of a past between the two of them, one fancied the other, one maybe still fancies the other (presumably not the one you’re going out with) etc etc but by the by there is a reason why they are friends and not partners.

Let’s look at this objectively – it is GOOD to have friends of the opposite sex. How many times have you just sat back chilling with the guys and thought how nice it is to have a different friend dynamic to always being “with the girls”. How often have you gone to a male friend for advice? “Why do men...?” “What does he mean by....?” “Should I...?” (FYI the answer will almost always invariably be some variation of “stop over-thinking things”.)  Isn't it nice to think that your guy has people he can do the same thing with? Women are always complaining about men not understanding them. How do we expect men to understand us if we ban them from communicating with other women?

Now don’t get me wrong. I am nowhere near the cool, calm, level-headed woman I am making out to be. Sometimes certain female friends fill me with such despair and anxiety that I don’t know how to cope. In the case of ‘The’ ex,  he had his ex that broke his heart and the “best friend” that had been in love with him since forever as two of his closest mates. And boy were they vindictive little bitches when they wanted to be. But I saw it, and ultimately I didn't distrust him, and in my effort to stick to my morals and not having a problem with my guy having girl/friends I actually probably shot myself in the foot a bit and caused more heartache than necessary.  Hey-ho; live and learn.

I guess my point is that that initial twinge of jealousy when you hear a female name is the person he’s having a drink with is natural. You care about him and (probably due to some evolutionary reason) you want to be the only woman in his life. But that just aint gonna’ happen. So just keep a close eye on it. If you find yourself uttering words of jealousy, or worse – insisting you also tag along, you may have a slight issue. And then even if this does to your other half. If he is a decent guy he will understand, and be able to reassure you. He may have even felt the same about some of your male friends, and it might also give him an opportunity to voice that.

But imagine how you would feel if you told him not to hang out with your brothers mate that you've known since you were 9? “Who the heck is he telling me that? I’ve known Bob forever, we always watch the footie together on Sundays!” hear those words being said about you and that’s exactly how he may feel. Bare that in mind the next time that little green eyed monster raises its ugly head. Placate it with chocolate and the reminder that he is with you for a reason. He loves and cares about you, and spending time with women – seeing more of how our complex minds work, will actually make him a better boyfriend to you. How could that ever be a bad thing? 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...