Monday, 26 November 2012

What do men want?

I was recently reading an interesting article called "Expert: Guys don't want casual sex!", an extremely interesting article, looking at our misconceptions about men wanting to be "Casanovas". It highlights that men's views on relationships are actually similar to women, in that they want to be in monogamous, meaningful relationships.

Charlie in "Two and a Half Men"
"In mainstream media we’ve had all of this stuff on TV since the 1970s that really promotes this idea of promiscuous young men. The history, as far as I can tell, really starts with Fonzie on “Happy Days” and “Hawkeye” Pierce on “M*A*S*H.” And it continues with guys like Sam Malone on “Cheers” and Charlie Sheen’s character on “Two and a Half Men” and Barney on “How I Met Your Mother.” For several years now we’ve had so-called good guys who were also promiscuous. If you looked at TV and movies from the ’50s and ’60s, the promiscuous guys were always very clearly the bad example." 

~ Andrew P. Smiley
Author of "Challenging Casanova, Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male."

Ross and Rachel 
Television certainly has a lot to answer for when it comes to our views around how relationships work. Who hasn't listened to a friend crying down the phone about their latest spat with their partner, and thought "you know what? This reminds of Ross and Rachel..." I guess we could sit here and blame the media for everything, although it may not make much of a difference. Our ongoing perceptions around how men and women relate to one another is the key here. Could it be that we mistake men for sex-crazed maniacs, only wanting to get into our knickers? Could it be that there is an ulterior motive, other than sex?

When I think over my own past relationships- looking at my boyfriends and male friends alike- I can only think of one example of a guy who was in it, all the time, just for the sex. In fact, this isn't even true, because even though he wanted to sleep with every woman that walked past him, he still craved the security and love of a real relationship. Even those men who said to me "I don't want a girlfriend" still appeared to want the closeness and companionship that comes with "being involved."

The stereotyped view that men just want to **** about may also have had an effect on women's behaviour. Is it possible that women's promiscuity has risen because of the view that men want to be in purely sexual relationships? Do we believe that being more sexually available will attract a man into commitment? Come on, I know some of us have, and if not, we certainly know someone that's testing this theory as we speak.

Its easy to label men in this way. But should the alternative be true, then there is a good chance for all us single ladies out here. If men also want relationships, then we have nothing to fear when broaching the subject with them. Perhaps not necessarily on a first date, but certainly once we have gotten to know the guy and decide we want some sort of future with him. Should we have to worry about having that "where is this going?" conversation, if the guy is feeling the same way? Is it possible that he is telling the truth- that he is also looking for love and companionship? Perhaps its the way we approach the question that frightens men. After reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" By Jon Gray and "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man" By Steve Harvey, it became apparent to me that saying words such as "we need to talk" is tantamount to telling a man his penis is about to fall off. Perhaps having the discussion in a non-cliche'd way could help this matter. I don't know, I'm just pondering (please feel free to get back to me with new ways to say this!)

"Where is this going?" conversation- 
not always easy, but perhaps he wants to have it too 

Lets face it, believing that all men are sex-driven swine is getting us no-where. Perhaps acknowledging that men have needs similar to our own may go a long way towards developing meaningful relationships in the long term.

Just a thought.

Have a read of Tracy Clark-Flory's article here. You can also purchase the book that inspired the article here (author Andrew P. Smiler).

Also have a look at "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" here, and "Act like a Lady, Think like a man" here.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Would you invite your ex to your wedding?

Will Brad be at Jennifer's Wedding?

Panda phoned Owl in such a rush the other night, she didn't even say the obligatory "Hi, how are you?"

P: "Did you know Jennifer Aniston is engaged?!"

O: "What? What is this? What do you mean? What the? WHAT?"

P: "I KNOW!!! Who even knew! I'm reading an article and it looks like her husband to be- Justin Theroux- has invited Brad and Angelina!" (quick search on IMDB to see who Justin Theroux is).

Queue discussion point- would ex's be invited to YOUR wedding?

Owl thinks...
Ex's at my Wedding? HELLS NO! And that goes for both sides. I'm not one for double standards.

It's just too weird. You think being friends with an ex is weird - have them celebrate the first day of the rest of your life with someone else. How can that not be weird?

I think How I Met Your Mother said it best - there are too many opportunities for old feelings to get brought up. Obviously you would hope that if you're marrying someone you are not going to ditch them at the alter for your ex. But what about other feelings? Jealousy? Anger? Lust? "What if's?" about the one that didn't work out?

What if you and that ex had considered marriage? Possibly even BEEN engaged? C'mon you're telling me THAT'S not weird?

Remember I am talking as someone that almost got married. My ex asked me about inviting his ex (the crazy psycho one) I think the look in my eyes said a lot more a lot quicker than my mouth did because he very quickly back-pedalled.

I think this is an easier issue for guys to deal with than girls. Look at Jen - it's her hubby to be that is wanting to invite Brangelina. I think men - once they've got a ring on your finger, feel a lot more secure. Maybe its that whole "owning/she's my property" thing. (Feminists please put down your pickaxes. It's a theory - not fact and I'm not saying I agree or like it).

Whereas for us girls it's our wedding day. We are the centre of attention, and for that one day we'd like to pretend that we are the only girl he has ever loved or even thought about. Pretty hard to do that with the ex smiling (or glaring) up at you from the 4th row isn't it?

It's just an added stress that no bride should have to deal with on such an important day. Your wedding day is about the two of you, and your love, and on this day yours is the only love that ever has been and ever will be.

Owl the romantic? Naaah.....

PS. My only amendment to this rule, is if said ex is an important and regular part of your social circle, and you probably already hang out with her as a friend already. And if this is the case it's probably unlikely they were very much serious in the first place.

Panda thinks...
... that it totally depends. It's interesting, I actually have a decent relationship with most of my ex's- some of them I talk to quite often, others it's a passing comment on Facebook. I can think of 2, maybe even 3 that I might consider inviting to my wedding. Some of them have been a part of my life for over a decade, how could I not invite them? Of course, I'd have to take into consideration the feelings of my hubby-to-be (apparently it would be his wedding too).

However, flip the coin- would I feel comfortable with my fiancĂ© inviting HIS ex's? It's a double standard, but I don't know how content I would be. It would really depend upon his relationship with them, and his intentions on inviting them. I couldn't have any old skank turning up. What if they still had a flame burning? Would they try to sabotage my big day? Do I want to see the Love of my Life's past as we take our first step into our future?

Should old girlfriends be invited to the same events as new girlfriends? Ex's, new partners and weddings, perhaps they shouldn't mix. And if they are not close friends, or mutual friends, perhaps the past needs to stay in the past...

Overall, it seems to be a touchy area, and every single person will have their own views. I wonder what the guys think...

We know its a tricky situation Jen, hang in there, we're trying to work it out!

What's your take on the subject? Would you invite your ex? How would you feel if your fiancĂ© asked about inviting their ex?

Read the article that sparked our conversation here.
Find out who Justin Theroux is here.

Friday, 16 November 2012

He IS just that into you- and deep down you know it!

Owl and Panda are the self-proclaimed Queens of Overthinking. Don't let our well thought out blogposts fool you- when we get ourselves into a tizzy over a one word text from a date, it isn't a pretty sight. Luckily, we rarely tend to overthink at the same time, so when we have girly nights in, we can tell when the other is going overboard with analysations (spell check tells us that this is not a word, so we proclaim it to be one of "our words". Like "ponderments"...)

One of our downfalls is that we don't like to believe that a guy is too into us. We try to play it cool, and not assume that we are amazeballs. Instead we get self conscious and paranoid and this can lead to crazy musings over whether  a guy actually does like us.

Sitting on a long train ride one day, we were chatting about the Blockbuster "He's Just Not That Into You" starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper (to name a few). If you haven't seen it, watch it. It's quite a fun and easy watch, prompting pauses and long conversations whilst Owl and Panda poured over and related each issue to our own lives over white wine and cake. Anyway, we won't spoil the plot, but suffice to say, it's all there in the title. How to know when a guy isn't into you. Or when a girl just isn't into a guy.

But sometimes, we need just as much help to see that a guy actually IS into us. We don't want to be big-headed, but guess what? Some guys do actually want to be with us! And there is no problem with admitting to ourselves that sometimes we rock- and the guy thinks so too! So, on our train journey, with a couple of hours to spare, we came up with a list of tell-tell signs, just as a reference. If you're trying to work out whether a guy IS in fact into you, please have a look, and let us know if it has worked for you too. If you have more to add to the list – please please tell us in the comments. Goodness knows we could do with some more clues….

If he likes you:

1. He calls.
You don't have to worry about him contacting you. You've given him your details. He will get in contact.  Panda remembers a time where she met a guy at a club. Her friends and his friends were all talking, and contacts were shared throughout the night, however, the guy Panda was chatting to got a little (ahem) drunk and she didn't give him her number. Two days later, her friend contacted her. Apparently, his friend contacted her friend to give Panda the message that he wanted to apologise for being drunk and would love to have her contact details. He went above and beyond to track Panda down. Certainly, a sign that he was into her.

2. He talks to his friends about you.
Women talk. So do men. Do NOT let them fool you on this! Perhaps they don't talk in the same way as women, but they are guilty of sharing their musings with their closest chums. Don't be fooled, if he likes you, he would've more than mentioned you to his closest friend or roommate. He may even slip up in conversation. Owl learned this when she went to ELB’s house for the first time, and was introduced. She noticed the tone of the "this is 'Owl'" and noted the reaction of recognition from the roommates. Sure enough, they were already familiar with her presence in his life.

3. He makes time.
It doesn't matter how busy he is- he will find the time because he wants to be in your company. Flip it over- when you want to see him, it doesn't matter if you've worked a 12 hour day, and your feet hurt, and your exhausted, and you have promised to take your Gran shopping the following morning- you will get on that 3 hour train to a different city to spend some time with him. We've all done it. And if he likes you, he will make the time to see you too…or even include you in his already made plans.

4. He takes notice of the things you like, and acts upon it.
He's asked all the questions and you've told him the things that you like. Not only has he listened, he has acted. This could be simply knowing that you like a particular chocolate bar and has bought it for you on your next date. But we would go a step further. For instance, Owl met a guy who listened to her like of a particular band. With this knowledge, he found other bands that sounded like this one, and told her about them. He had noticed her likes and was already making connections. You just don’t go that amount of effort for someone you're not into.

5. You just know.We women have been blessed with the ability of intuition. Nevertheless, all too often, we ignore our judgements, or displace them completely, in the fear of seeming presumptuous, or even... needy. But if a guy likes you, it doesn't matter whether you think you are overthinking. If you just relax and look at the evidence in front of you, you just KNOW. You don't have to overthink his every move. Sometimes we like to be modest, and not assume that the guy is totally smitten with is (unless you are a self-assured Panda who couldn't possibly believe someone isn't attracted to her!) But you know when he likes you back. His behaviour and actions show it.

We are not denying that there are some Casanova's out there, some men who make sport of leading girls on. But just trust your intuition, and you can answer the question yourself.

Not that we are not advocating sitting with your girls and having a good old chat about all the possibilities of whether he IS just that into you – over-analysing can sometimes be extremely helpful and fun too ;)

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

A shot of confidence- with extra cream please!

One day I was meeting Owl for a coffee at a certain coffee shop in a certain London Tube Station. I went up to the counter to order my hot chocolate (extra dairy for me, although I think I may be lactose intolerant...) Anyway, I looked behind me and there was this SUPERFIT guy behind me in the line! Oh, the beauty! His body was well fit, muscular and toned, legs not too thin, biceps not too massive. I quickly realised with a body like that in the whole gym get-up, he must be a gym instructor or something.

I like 'em tall, dark and handsome
 with cream!
Not too sure what came over me. One second I'm paying for my hot chocolate, the next I'm joking with Mr Gym that he's having no milk and I'm having extra cream in my drink! (or something to that effect... I guess you'd have to be there to have laughed along...) Anyway, I had to get back to the table as Owl was guarding the comfy seats on her own, and last time she did that she had to fight off abuse from a cantankerous old man...

So I went back to the seats and Mr Gym left with his drink, nodding and smiling a farewell at me as he went. Mmmm, watching him walk away was a treat! Don't judge me! That's how I noticed that his phone number was printed on his T-shirt, turns out he was a personal trainer after all.

It also turns out that my short term memory capacity isn't all that bad either, because as he bopped off out of my life, I was able to memorise his contact details long enough to find my phone in my sack I call a handbag, and send him a text, something along the lines of "I hope you enjoy the coffee, sans milk". When Owl came back to the table I told her the whole thing. He texted back immediately, something along the lines of "Thank you, enjoy your extra cream x" (I know for a fact there was a kiss at the end). Perhaps he was married, or in a relationship, or just out of a relationship or something (it couldn't possibly be that he just wasn't interested!)

Anyway, I guess the whole point of the story is that I took a chance. I went for it. And that's something I haven't been able to do in a long time. And although it may not have played out how I would've hoped, it's still a step in the right direction as far as my confidence is concerned.

Yep, being single can be quite awesome. I look forward to enjoying it more :)

Monday, 12 November 2012

The girls as friend’s scenario

I’ve always found myself to be pretty chill about boyfriends having girls as friends. I think even from my early teen years I saw girls freaking out with jealousy over their guys having friends of the opposite sex and I always thought it was so pointless. If they wanted to be with them....they would be! The guy is with you for a reason...dumbass.

And yes you can often enter into the slightly murkier territories of a past between the two of them, one fancied the other, one maybe still fancies the other (presumably not the one you’re going out with) etc etc but by the by there is a reason why they are friends and not partners.

Let’s look at this objectively – it is GOOD to have friends of the opposite sex. How many times have you just sat back chilling with the guys and thought how nice it is to have a different friend dynamic to always being “with the girls”. How often have you gone to a male friend for advice? “Why do men...?” “What does he mean by....?” “Should I...?” (FYI the answer will almost always invariably be some variation of “stop over-thinking things”.)  Isn't it nice to think that your guy has people he can do the same thing with? Women are always complaining about men not understanding them. How do we expect men to understand us if we ban them from communicating with other women?

Now don’t get me wrong. I am nowhere near the cool, calm, level-headed woman I am making out to be. Sometimes certain female friends fill me with such despair and anxiety that I don’t know how to cope. In the case of ‘The’ ex,  he had his ex that broke his heart and the “best friend” that had been in love with him since forever as two of his closest mates. And boy were they vindictive little bitches when they wanted to be. But I saw it, and ultimately I didn't distrust him, and in my effort to stick to my morals and not having a problem with my guy having girl/friends I actually probably shot myself in the foot a bit and caused more heartache than necessary.  Hey-ho; live and learn.

I guess my point is that that initial twinge of jealousy when you hear a female name is the person he’s having a drink with is natural. You care about him and (probably due to some evolutionary reason) you want to be the only woman in his life. But that just aint gonna’ happen. So just keep a close eye on it. If you find yourself uttering words of jealousy, or worse – insisting you also tag along, you may have a slight issue. And then even if this does to your other half. If he is a decent guy he will understand, and be able to reassure you. He may have even felt the same about some of your male friends, and it might also give him an opportunity to voice that.

But imagine how you would feel if you told him not to hang out with your brothers mate that you've known since you were 9? “Who the heck is he telling me that? I’ve known Bob forever, we always watch the footie together on Sundays!” hear those words being said about you and that’s exactly how he may feel. Bare that in mind the next time that little green eyed monster raises its ugly head. Placate it with chocolate and the reminder that he is with you for a reason. He loves and cares about you, and spending time with women – seeing more of how our complex minds work, will actually make him a better boyfriend to you. How could that ever be a bad thing? 

Friday, 9 November 2012

The Hunger Games

Straight off the back, if you have not read The Hunger Games trilogy, or if you are going to read them and do not want them spoiled, then DO NOT read this blogpost! Owl and Panda absolutely ADORE the books, and will be unable to contain themselves throughout this post!

Read them IMMEDIATELY- get them on Amazon HERE

We want to talk about Peeta. And Gale. And Katniss. Oh Gale and Peeta. They love Katniss so much.

One thing that struck us was how much we felt we could relate to Katniss' feelings towards both of them. Both representing safety, security, and undying love, Gale through rebellion and passion, Peeta through kind support and ultimate acceptance. But who would you have chosen in the end? Certainly Katniss barely had time to concentrate on her feelings for either in too much depth, what with her trying to protect her sister, stay alive and eventually leading a rebellion and all. But in key moments throughout the series, we see Katniss' confusion over her feelings for both men. She could identify that she loved them both dearly. But, in the very end, who did she really want to be with?

Panda was gripped the entire time, not quite knowing for sure who Katniss would choose (if any). Surely she would choose Gale, she's known him for so long and has so many shared experiences with him. And with Peeta's psychological change in the third book (we mentioned spoilers, right? Oh yeah, good) it was unclear whether he could ever love her the way he once did. Owl was more perceptive, and saw it coming. Peeta represented a type of safety in a way that Katniss could not give herself. Yes, Gale could hunt, and fight, and be as firery as her, but what Katniss needed in the end was the man who could complete her, to compliment her and give her the security that she so desperately craved. 

And is this not what we want from our own partners in life? The guy that completes us? Yes, we want someone to share our likes and interests. But don't we also want the guy who can give us what we cannot give ourselves?

In the Panda family, the women are loud and chatty (and then loud and chatty some more). Daddy Panda, on the other hand, is the quiet, retiring type. He only talks when it is necessary (sometimes not even then). Perhaps that's what Mummy Panda needed in a mate- someone who will be the calm one, the listener, the think-then-act person, to compliment her sprightly and spontaneous nature.

In life, we are often attracted to those who bring out a different side of us, that challenge us in some way or another. It's natural, it's what helps us to grow and develop. If we were always around people who were exactly the same as us all of the time, how would that benefit us? Is it not instinctive to consciously or subconsciously look for things in a partner that we do not have ourselves, to compliment our better half and complete that other side?

Yes, Owl, the romantic, saw this plot end coming. Peeta was perfect for Katniss. Ultimately Owl pondered, we don't want a mirror image of ourselves. We want someone whose strengths balance our own - to make us stronger as a couple, and surely only Peeta would be the one she could choose? He soothed her character. She didn't clash with him in the same way she clashed with Gale, because she and Gale were too much alike. Maybe it's a lesson for us all not to get too hung up on finding a partner who is just like us, but to accept what our mate has to bring to the table, and to complement each other, making us both stronger for it. 

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

On meeting the parents

Ahh meeting the family - a terrifying situation for even the bravest of us! The worries and questions that go through our minds, all boiling down to one question "Will I make a good impression - will they like me?"

Because ultimately thats what we all want isnt it? We really like someone, we see it having potential to go somewhere, and there is nothing worse than the potential future "one day" in-laws not liking you and making a relationship difficult.

I've been in both camps. One boyfriend's mother welcomed me in with wide warm arms (literally) and then cried when I saw them for the last time when I picked up my stuff. By contrast one boyfriends mother would barely allow me through the front door, let alone upstairs.

The last one - the very nearly "mother in law" I never quite figured out 100% I worked hard to make a good impression and show her how much I cared for my then partner. She always said what she thought, so even though sometimes she was brutally honest, when she said she cared about me and loved me I believed her. I think it was actually quite difficult for her when it was for me too. I missed her. 

So having been through a number of relationships with varying degrees of closeness to the mothers, I was really nervous this time. I "quite" like ELB and I really didn't want to mess it up early on by not making a good impression. I worried for the best part of a week over my outfit, went to three different shops on the way to buy a bottle of fizz as recommended by ELB and then stressed out when my well planned hair-do got messed up through *cough cough* "extra curricular activities" before I'd even met them.

I needn't have worried. The answer is simple - just be yourself. How many people have heard their partners tell them this "Just be yourself and they'll love you as much as I do". Your partner likes you for a reason, hopefully a number of reasons, and chances are his family is fairly similar to him and so should like you too. Lets be brutally honest here - if he really thought you wern't going to get on, he wouldn't be bringing you home.

Even so here are my top tips for making it go as smoothly as possible:

  • Dress modestly, but still be YOU. I went for a sweater dress that is maybe a *tad* shorter than generally acceptable for meeting parents but I had inch thick tights and practical knee high boots that made the outfit very "me" but still respectable. Also make sure its seasonally appropriate  That floaty maxi dress might be appropriate but you will just look silly wearing that in November! 
  • Bring a gift if appropriate  Even something small will make a good impression. I was meeting them all on brothers birthday so I brought a bottle of fizz. That ELB then embarrassed me about  as he kept mentioning it every 10 minutes. Bless him :)
  • Watch your language. I have an awful habit of swearing like a sailor no matter the company I keep so I consciously thought about everything before I said it. I'm sure over time the less offensive words in correct context wouldn't be so bad if its part of you, but on the first meeting you want to appear as ladylike as possible!
  • Talk about subjects you care about - if you enjoy your job, tell them why. Loving a TV show or book at the moment - ask if they've seen or read it. Be engaging, ask questions about them. Remember the idea here is to get to know each other better. 
  • Let them see you care about their son. A hand hold, sneaky peck on the cheek, smiling at him and complimenting him all show how much you care about him. HOWEVER - gushy smushy OTT PDA's and you will gross out the family - so be classy about it. 
  • If they subject you to a "lie detector test" it's probably time to leave....

Do you have any "Meet the Parents" success tales? What about any horror stories? 

Saturday, 3 November 2012

"Being alone SUCKS!" How I get back to positive

If you're anything like me, you've suffered from the mild depression that comes from being single. Like Rachel in Friends said so elegantly: "This SUCKS! Being alone SUCKS!"

This, of course isn't always true, sometimes being single is great! There's no one to be responsible for... um... errr... well, I'm sure there are other reasons (ask me again when I'm not in a "being single SUCKS" mood). When that "I'm alone" feeling sinks in deep, it's hard to feel positive about it.

Especially when your friends all seem to be happily married, in a relationship or dating. I love all my friends, and I am genuinely happy for every single one of them. But I'm sure you guys know what I mean when I say "why can't it be me!"

I've felt this way before. I flit in and out of it from time to time, sometimes its triggered by hormones (you ladies know what I mean), sometimes it's the cold weather. Other times I have no idea what it is. All I know for sure is, it is reversible. I have come up with a few ways to get myself out of the slump. Let me know what you think about them!

Work it out. I find exercising actually does increase my ability to feel happy. I burn some nervous energy, I feel healthier for it (and it eats up some of my alone time!) If you're joined to a nice gym, there are also sexy men to sneakily ogle at (don't lie to yourself, we all do it!)

Eating my favourite meal. This may appear to fly in the face of the previous point, but for me, the previous point is less about losing or maintaining weight, its more about feeling exercised and refreshed. Eating my favourite meal always makes me feel satisfied. I am not advocating binge eating. This isn't helpful (and would definitely negate the previous point!) This could be something off a Chinese menu, or some good old chip shop chips. Or a slice of carrot cake with a hot chocolate. Whatever floats the boat.

Happy Film
I throw on a Happy Film. I have a couple on my list, including Iron Man and The Hangover 2. Don't ask why they are my happy films, I don't quite understand it myself, but I always get a giddy feeling when I watch them. It puts me in a much better mood.

I should note here that although Love Actually is another one of my Happy Films, I wouldn't advocate any lovey-dovey movies whilst in the "alone SUCKS" mode. I've done it before- tears and wet tissues everywhere, and there was no turning back at the end- I was firmly in the "Being alone SUCKS" zone.

Guilty Pleasures
This is a guilty pleasure. And it does make me feel a little bad to admit it. But, although I am single, there are a couple of guys that have a small thing for me. They are cool guys, and I have made it perfectly clear to them that they are JUST friends. But sometimes, I just want a little male company. So, I may call one up, have a quick chat. It can be nice to speak to someone who fancies me, nevertheless, I never lead them on.
This can sometimes backfire, if they are busy and can't talk, or they have girlfriends or whatever. So I never leave this as a last resort, it has a weird way of knocking down my house of cards.

Get pretty and dance
This is my secret, so don't laugh. I'll sit down, give myself a mani-pedi, then wash, scrub, mask, cleanse, tone, moisturise my face off, straighten my hair and walk around the house in my cute PJs. I look pretty. For me. Then, I throw on my favourite dance track and go wild! I just focus on the music. No sad songs- just upbeat ones!

So important. I get out. Immediately. Yes, a small amount of wallowing is normal. But when your reaction to natural light is to hiss and squint like a deranged cat, it's time to be outside. I go for a walk around a nice area, or sit for a coffee in a nice coffee shop. Sometimes I get on a bus and look at the sights. Whatever gets me out and about. I know for me, being inside for a long time means extended periods in my own head. And in this type of mood, that's not safe.

These exercises usually get me through a weekend, or however long it is until I have to be somewhere or do something that takes my mind off my woes. Then, I'm back to my jolly, positive-thinking self. Being single isn't all that bad. There are some good points (again, when I have done the above I'll be in a better place to list what they are).

What would be on your list? Let me know so I can add it to mine!

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