Friday, 12 October 2012

The List

I was having a chat with Owl, due to my "hot and cold" nature when dealing with dates. I don't know about all you wonderful people out there in the real world, but I have a natural propensity to go off of men quite easily. It could be little things, such as him wearing a leather jacket in blazing heat, or not picking up the bill at the end of a meal. For me, it's the little things that show the type of person you are. After all, anything you do is everything you do.

Anyway, back to my chat with Owl. During our convo, it occurred to me that I actually do have a list in my head around what the perfect man for me would be like. I guess I have compiled the list over the years, taking the things I like from ex-boyfriends and reversing the things that pissed me off.
This conversation is reminiscent of a chat I had about a year ago with another friend. She is a Christian, and after going on various dates, she decided to make a list of the qualities of the perfect man and put that list in her Bible. Within months, the perfect man was in her life. Although (not to put a downer to this point, I should mention that they split up after about 6 months. Turns out, he was perfect as far as the list was concerned, but she changed her mind over what she wanted). I am not a Christian, but I do have a belief in the Laws of Attraction, and can see the logic behind this activity. If you want something in life, you need to focus on it, and ensure your focus is clear.
So below is my list. It's quite a long one, so bare with me. Some of the items on the list are general, and I am sure can be applied to most women's dream of the "Perfect Man". But even those points are specific to what I want in a man.
Panda's List
  • Someone that makes me laugh from the pit of my stomach, daily. This is at the top of the list for a reason- it's so very important to me!
  • Someone that understands my dry, sarcastic humour and appreciates it.
  • Someone who really enjoys my company. And I really enjoy theirs. Sounds obvious, right?
  • Someone that does not smoke. And only really drinks socially. And doesn't do drugs.
  • Someone tall, dark and handsome. He should be taller than me when I wear heels.
  • Someone from my background (Black Caribbean)- although I must admit this is not essential, it just makes things easier (in terms of understanding my heritage and dealing with my family).
  • Someone who appreciates my religious choices. He doesn't have to agree with them, of course and I will appreciate his. As long as there is an open and respectful dialogue.
  • Someone without hair (can't be dealing with looking after his hair AND my own!). He doesn't need to be bald; a low, manageable cut is fine with me.
  • Someone athletic, perhaps studies a martial art and attends the gym. Someone fit and healthy, and is concerned with his health. He should have beautiful muscles and a healthy physique, but he doesn't have to look like The Rock... although if he does, I wouldn't complain...
  • Someone who is competitive like me. I like to play games and have a laugh. It's more than just taking part, you know...
  • Someone who is (ahem) well endowed, and knows what he is doing. I can teach him the rest ;)
  • Someone who is willing to try new experiences and teach me a few things (link to above point, as appropriate).
  • Someone who loves their job- whatever it is. Although I'd prefer not to have a Police Officer or a Fireman, I don't like the shifts that they do. Loving their career means they are happier in life!
  • Someone who wants to make me happy in any way possible.
  • Someone that wants to take care of me. This doesn't mean I will stop taking care of myself, but having someone be there for me for a change would be nice...
  • Someone who wants a family- children- and who believes in putting their family first.
  • Someone who has friends and enjoys spending time with them. A Billy-no-mates really doesn't appeal to me. My friends are important to me, and I can't have him trying to tag along with me all the time, or moan when I am not spending all my free time with him. It just wouldn't work for me.  
  • Someone who is good with their hands around the house, and is willing to learn to fix anything!
  • Someone who is not stubborn, who can admit when they are wrong and get over things. And doesn't throw things in my face.
  • Someone who is able to talk about their feelings, although I don't want someone who whines about things or goes on and on. Just the ability to open up and talk about things is enough for me.
  • Someone that earns more than I do. I used to be quite "feminist thinking", however I now feel that (personally speaking) my guy can earn more and contribute more to the household than me. I will, of course, play my part and pay my way.
  • Someone who is good with their money, sensible but not cheap!
  • Someone who likes to travel and is willing to try new experiences with me.
  • Someone that LOVES me. And I love them back. Again, so obvious, but so essential.
I doubt this list is exhaustive. I am sure there will be a man out there that will piss me off and have me add something else to it. I am reminded by Owl that although these are things I want in a man, I should also remember to be flexible. The truth is, any man could walk into my life and totally change my perspective on what I want. Look at my Christian friend! Although, this list has made me look at a couple of the men I have been on dates with, and is explaining a current feeling of "meh" I have towards all of them....
Have any of you out there ever made a list? And what have you added to it? And has the process of making a list made it easier for you to focus on what you are looking for? And, of course, has it worked?
Panda would love to know!
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