Friday, 24 August 2012

The importance of "playing it cool"

After any encounter, whether its being chatted up, a first date or a fling it is vital to play it cool.

Now I am in no way advocating any of these crappy dating rules of “wait 3 days” “don’t text first” yadda yadda.


There is such a thing as keeping an air of mystery about you. And again, maybe this directly counteracts my much preached advice of “communicate and talk” but it comes down to striking a fine balance. Don’t show all your cards at once – leave some things to be discovered – and let him want to discover them.

Take this recent experience of a friend of a friend. After an enjoyable night and the standard swapping numbers she was also given a business card with all the standard webby details. Granted nothing that a simple Google search probably wouldn’t have thrown up but at the same time – there was these details. Gleaming in front of her – just BEGGING to be used. She allowed herself a quick peruse *cough cough* of the website, but held off until after the weekend to add him on Twitter.

Bare in mind this was after a brief text a few days prior – prompted by the lovely man in question.
But now – we are firmly into the playing it cool zone. There are no rules for this – no set timelines, no formulas. “call immediately and he will never want to see you” “leave it 3 days and 16hours and you will be married within the year” – no, this will not happen. However leave enough time that he may have started to wonder “hmm what is she up to?”

Basically what we are aiming to avoid is the clich├ęd impression of the clingy needy girl. From what I’ve heard most men prefer women with a sense of self and a streak of independence. And then the old “hunter” gene kicks in. He WANTS to pursue – the thrill of the chase! Just make sure you don’t play it so cool he thinks you’re not interested at all.

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