Thursday, 13 December 2012

Wait for Prince Charming or Search for Mr Right?

As I begin this post, I want to say that there is nothing wrong with being single. I experience the ups and downs daily, so I'm not sugar coating the good times, nor am I ignoring the low points either. However, as the months get increasingly colder and, yet again, I do not have a snuggle-buddy (unless you count my mug of home-made mulled wine- recipe here) I have started to wonder- as women, should we be waiting for Prince Charming or searching for Mr Right?

I'm waiting.... 
As a woman who has walked both roads and come home empty handed, I wonder what the approach should be. I have a friend who is a devout Christian, and she has the belief that men choose women, that as a woman you should wait for a man to come along and make his decision to be with you. There's certainly some merit in this, as I've found through my own experiences. From what I've seen, men tend to make up their minds about things on their own accord, and trying to convince them to be in a relationship when they don't want to is like eating pasta before its boiled. If a man decides he is ready to make the choice to be with you, he will usually come knocking. That's what's happened to me. My only problem is either I didn't want that specific man, or I got tired of waiting.

Bringing me to my opposing thought- do we as women "put ourselves out there" like Charlotte from SATC, and have our eyes on the prize? That's certainly been my approach more recently, since I've put myself back on the proverbial shelf. Although I must stress, I am not as, erm, enthusiastic as I was in my late teens/early 20s, where I'd approach guys at bars and ask for their phone numbers (my youthful overconfidence gave them the wrong impression of me and what I actually wanted, if you know what I mean). Putting myself out there this time round has meant that I am open to receive. I'm on a dating website and I give my number to guys I think are cute. However, I am also looking for what I want (my list is a testament to this). What I've found now is that I put pressure on myself to find someone decent, and as the months get colder, I'm reminded of how lonely I felt this time last year, adding to my desire to find someone, and soon.

Owl would tell me to relax and wait, that someone is out there for me. But does that mean I should sit idle, waiting, or should I be out there trying to find him?

Help me out. What do you think?

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